when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
