as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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