Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
