Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
