Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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