I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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