i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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