Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
its not stalking. its research.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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