i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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