What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
