i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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