he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
