you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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