Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
