Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
