nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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