My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
