Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
