my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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