I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
