He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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