I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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