Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
