I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
