I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
