I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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