Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
