After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
