im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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