im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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