if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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