I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
