if i died would you start the facebook group?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
