You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
