So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
