the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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