he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
