In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
