Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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