Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
