I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
