Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
