Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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