why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
