just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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