sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
