then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
