8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
