Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
