Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
